One year, 365 days, is a lot. I am grateful it’s not a leap year. Coming up with 365 different things to write about, and write about well, is going to be a challenge. I am not sure I thought that through. But that is the point of a challenge. Right?
If you’ve stuck with me this far, you may have realized that there are few things I do that I don’t go all-in on. It is both a blessing and my curse.
This will be my thirty-first post in this project. It feels like the right time for a reflection, even though I did a short one ten days ago. But a lot can change in ten days. Especially when time moves in new ways.
The Challenge: Writing Dangerously
Writing Dangerously is a project I came up with, partly as a way of procrastinating studying for my exams. I challenged myself and my friend Amy Jayne to spend a year writing about the things we were afraid to write about and posting online.
The project has several goals:
- Build a daily writing habit,
- Be comfortable writing,
- Get over my fear of sharing on the internet.
I have succeeded in the first two goals but have not told many people what I am doing because I still struggle with the third.
Reflections and why you might want to set your own challenge
I am surprised by how much I am loving this process. I have not been writing the kind of posts I would have liked to write this past month, but I have to start somewhere. At least that is what I tell myself. This is a journey of self-exploration. I can’t have it all figured out; otherwise, I wouldn’t need a challenge like this.
So far, I have seen a shift in my writing process.
- My first drafts have improved, even for academic writing.
- My confidence in what I am saying is almost convincing.
- I no longer second guess everything I am writing.
Beyond that, I have been working on writing projects I never thought I would get to, including:
- starting a draft for an article I may actually submit somewhere.
- submitting a poem to a competition.
- drafting pieces for a book that has been playing out in my head for the past ten years.
I have not become an exceptional writer overnight. I do not expect to be one by the end of the year, maybe not ever.
But this is my way of trying. Sharing this will be my way of holding myself accountable, maybe someday inspiring other people out there who have been telling themselves they cannot start until they have everything figured out. Even if that is just one of you, even if that is just me, it is more than enough.
What I Wrote about for 31 Days
For this past month, my writing much more of confessional style writing. In a lot of ways, this makes sense. Some of my favorite writers are confessional writers, and while in the middle of exams, I did not have the time to dedicate to extensively researched pieces like I would like to post here.
My biggest obstacle in writing or even getting started on this project is my hatred of feeling vulnerable. Hatred, fear. It is a bit of both. Sharing anything I have written does that: it lets the reader see into my mind, see the real me, or at least parts of me.
I am sure some of you can relate to what I am saying here. There are things about yourself you don’t feel like the world needs to know. You don’t owe the world anything, and neither do I. But I have reached this point where keeping those parts of myself hidden has become an albatross around my neck.
Confessional-style writing, even if is narcissistic and even though my writing will never come close to those who inspire me, has freed me. Free might be a strong word. It has lifted some of the fear and some of the burden to allow me to start.
I am not prepared to share myself with the world—even if the world is just the couple of people who read this. I am not sure I ever will be. But I have realized that nothing anyone could ever say would be worse than the things I have told myself. I learn by doing. If I am not prepared to let the world, or you, see me, the only way I can learn to be is by revealing parts of myself. Being vulnerable. Putting myself and my thoughts out there to be criticized. That is part of why we are here.
Areas I can Improve
After 31 days, I have found many areas where I can improve what I am writing.
Most notably: I missed a day. I wrote the post but took a night off to catch up with friends and family. I didn’t have time to edit and post it and did not want to rush through it. So I posted it today.
Also, some of my posts do not offer a lot of substance. They were more about sticking with it than offering much value—but this is a process. I have to start somewhere. Now that I am through exams and writing and posting (*almost) daily, I will write more in-depth posts about non-Ariel-centric topics.
I do not plan my writing. Before starting this process, I came up with a loose content calendar with themes I was interested in writing about and a rough idea of when I would write about them. I underestimated my exam preparation time and how exhausted I would be during that period. So my plan, which had already slipped, fell apart. I am an inspiration-based writer still; as I do more of this and we get further into the year, my planning will improve out of necessity.
I have said it before, but I hate conclusions. I am terrible at goodbyes, writing conclusions, and any kind of ending. Rather than give things a proper ending, I let things just drift away or abruptly end. This is true in life and my writing. It isn’t intentional; it is how my brain works. At the end of my posts, much like the end of my academic papers, I do not know how to conclude. I usually end on a thought, add a sentence, then move on with my life and call it good enough. This is going to be a pet project for me this year: to practice endings and conclusions for stories, articles, papers, and posts.
What to Expect Moving Forward
Considering 365 days is a lot of writing, and I spent the past 31 days mostly writing about myself, which is not what I want this to be. I need more structure. Moving ahead, I will have mini-projects I focus on during the month, and the majority of the posts will center around that.
The month of February will be around anthropology and writing, and there will be limited confessional writing pieces to mix things up. It would be good to give myself some more rules to keep me engaged, challenged, and accountable. I have some additional ideas for the following months.