I made it. We made it? After 2 days of intensive studying, a 5,000 word paper for another class, a 12-hour drive, a night in a hotel, and a 40 minute walk in the rain, I took my exam. I felt very prepared for it. So I am optimistic about the results, which I should get sometime next month.
At times like these, I am both reminded of what I am capable of as well as how much of a toll this takes on my health. With my hyper-focus on studying, I don’t eat, exercise, sleep, or maintain my relationships I usually do. It is a curse, which I have to learn to balance.
That is something I will be working on throughout the year starting later today—after I have had some real sleep.
This post is a couple hours late—in case anyone is keeping track. But I consider today to be full of good reasons as to why I did not post on time. Or rather, yesterday. Woke up at 6:40 to study more for an exam, get ready, and pack my stuff. Walk forty minutes in the rain and then take my exam. Then I found a quiet place to work on my final due on Friday for 30 minutes while Jesse finished picking up some final things from our old house then came to pick me up.
We spent the rest of the day driving. At first, it seemed like we would arrive on time—early even. But then we ran into snow in Switzerland and had to slow down. This added to our time as well as some strange roadwork with no signs in Como.
I am not sure if any of what I have written makes much sense right now. But these are my collected thoughts—or at least what I could pull together at the end of a very long day. This, I suppose, ties back into my initial concern about writing for the internet. Does strictly following a posting schedule really add value? Does this post add any value to anyone? Probably not.
But who am I writing for? I am of course, writing for you. But there are not many of you right now, are there. So I have the luxury of also writing for myself. Meaning my accountability to the few of you out there and to myself can take priority right now. After getting over the initial fear and anxiety about writing and posting, it will be a habit where I can make sure I am offering more quality with every post. But today, that is unfortunately not a realistic goal. And by today, I mean actually today but also today as a representation of the present stage in my life.
Anyways, I have carried on longer than I intended. I hope to be more profound in tomorrow’s post after I have had some rest. Especially because I originally wrote this “I am not sure if any of what I have written makes much sense right now” as “I am not sure if any of what I have read makes much sense right now.” Meaning I am well past needing sleep.