Another day of exam preparation. I have another day to review all of my notes from one of my classes. I have gotten through four of the thirteen lectures today. So… things are not looking good. But somehow, I will make it through! I also have a lovely 12-hour drive to listen to all the audio recordings. Or at least the ones I do not get through tomorrow.
How did I find myself here again? Finishing all my studying and paper writing at the last minute. I guess that is the nature of life though, right?
Thinking about time in terms of opportunity cost. If I want to spend the holidays interacting with family, I have to sacrifice something. We spent a week, more or less, with Jesse’s family—traveling during Italy’s code Orange periods. While there, I gave myself some flexibility after completing the first round of my PhD applications and two papers.
I finished a 5,000-word paper in one day yesterday. My brain was mush by the end of it. It brought me back to my bachelor’s days where I would write a paper just before it was due, doing it all in one go without even a moment to read through it once to make sure there were no typos or glaring errors. I guess this explains why I never learned to write conclusions. Or maybe it is because conclusions are some form of saying goodbye.I never used to worry about exams. I guess it comes from there being nothing at risk. I had no idea what I wanted to do before outside of writing. The degree was more of a way to improve my craft than it was a goal in itself. The master’s degree is a goal in itself, but I want to leverage it for my next step: PhD or general research.
This is my third round of grad school exams. I tell myself each time they will get easier. I have been saying it about the next round where I will just have two papers and my thesis. I will only have two classes next semester. But I also have two honors programs I am participating in which have their own projects due. I will also have a couple of European PhD applications due as well. I will also have to find a job. I am also writing because this is something I know I want to do.
Even at my busiest, I carve out some time for writing. Even if it is short.
Well, anyway, I should get back to either my studying or this glass of wine. I will write something for sure tomorrow. I will do so on Monday as well, but it will be limited due to the 12 hours in a car and stress studying.